Paul the Octopus arrested for involvement in Betting Scam
The world of football was in a state of shock today as Paul the Octopus, famous for his world cup football prediction, was arrested and charged with being part of a global betting scam run by various underworld organizations.
The head of Interpol Pierre Le Plod, said ‘It seems many games in the world cup were fixed by criminal gangs from South America, Eastern Europe and China working together. However they needed a method to transmit the fixed result to people in on the scam, who were scattered around the world without leaving a paper or electronic trail.
This is where Paul the Octopus came in, he was told who the winner was before the games was played and then pick the team from the box accordingly. I mean who has ever heard of an invertebrate having such a run of success in predictions.
Our suspicions were raised when the Dutch team who are masters of beautiful football played the final like a pub team, trying to get them selves sent off. It seems the referees were not in on the scam.
Asked why an Octopus was used Le Plod responded. ‘It was an ironic joke by the Mafia, the Italian Mafia is know as ‘La Piovra’ or ‘The Octopus’ because they have tentacles in some many places.’
MONTY THE MOSQUITO ‘MY HOLIDAY ROMANCE WITH CHERYL COLE'
EXCUSIVE! Inside your Raunchy Roar Away err Red Top Tomorrow, Monty the mosquito will tell the full story of his holiday romance with Cheryl Cole.
Monty wants his side of the story told by The Red Top. Monty said ‘People say I am just a blood sucker after Cheryl’s money, but you only have to see the bites I left on her neck to show how passionate and in love we are.’
Read the full story tomorrow.
BP call in MI6 to stop leak
Said a BP spokesman,’ We are going all out to stop this leak, mainly by running a smear operation in the press against anyone who say they know about this. With help from friendly journalist in the pay of the security services, and if that does not work it’s 007 time, nudge nudge wink wink. Dead men can’t talk.
We call that a Top kill operation as well.’ The spokesman then began chuckling madly while stroking a white cat.
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