The Red Top News Special

POLICE AND SECURITY SERVICES 

TO ARREST SUN READERS

In a shock announcement, the Security Services and police have said that they are going to investigate who has been purchasing the Sun newspaper. They believe the readers of the paper are most likely to become radical Muslims and join ISIS.

Jihad recruitment paper ?

Inspector Scot Yard of the Metropolitan police said; “Well we listen to the Major of London, Boris Johnson’s remarks that, and I quote, ““If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally wankers.”  

men who go to fight with Islamic State as “literally wankers

And we thought to ourselves what other reason was there to  buy The Sun newspaper other than to look and page three and well  you know, pleasure yourself. So therefore it’s logical to conclude that these people must be possible ISIS recruits, and we should bring them in for questioning. We are going to have police offices visit newsagents to get lists of names of people who have purchased this ISIS recruiting paper. We are going to call this investigation operation "Red Topless”

The Red Top News security correspondent asked Inspector Scot Yard if perhaps people might buy it for the news and in depth analysis of world events. However both Inspector Yard and our correspondent laughed to much to worry about a reply.

New ISIS recruiting poster ?